Daddy's Girls

Welcome to Andy's first post on Christie's blog. For starters, I should point out that the name of this blog will always make me a "guest blogger." I say that because I have rarely ever been sans souci (i.e., without worry). Were it my blog, a more appropriate name would have been "avec souci" - or even "avec souci beaucoup." I am a worrier, the anxious sort. God has delivered me from some of that worry ("Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication make your requests known to God," Philippians 4:6). Nevertheless, one thing that I am "avec souci" about is being the father of three daughters and the only male in the household.

Both Flannery and Percy-Kate are old enough to notice that there are "boy" toys and there are "girl" toys, and they have asked whether it's OK for them to play with "boy" toys or do something that "boys" do. My first response always is, "You can do anything a boy can do. Except be pope." (And they have two strikes against them there, being Protestants and all). I don't want there to be any labeling or distinction made that would suggest they are less capable than boys. Of course, there are differences. There are many times when Flannery, Percy-Kate, and Ruby are playing with their boy friends (i.e. friends who are boys) that I am thankful that I have girls instead of boys. Girls are quieter, better behaved, and less inclined to try to build a flying machine out of Leggos, duct tape, and their bicycle. Plus, psychological studies have shown that pink is simply a more soothing color. All in all, life is good for the father of young girls.

But then again..... I am painfully aware how important my relationship with them is. My three girls are unique from each other, with different interests, personalities, and love languages. Still, I feel comfortable making a couple of sweeping generalizations. Sweeping generalization number one: girls relate differently than do boys. They cry and emote - they feel things - in ways that often make me uncomfortable. Yet I cannot dismiss their emotions by simply proclaiming that I (as a male) am different than they are and that's not how guys are! No. How I relate to them will be how they expect a future mate (take note Markert and Boisvert boys) to relate to them. I must learn to feel things along with them, to take their emotions seriously as integral components of how God knit them together. And I must learn to communicate with them. Flannery and Percy-Kate are old enough now - and Ruby will be soon enough - to be able to engage in extended conversation. And they have plenty to say. They need daddy to be an active listener and to be able to carry my end of the conversation. Communication is hard, but they are worth the effort. They also are worth sacrifices of time.

Sweeping generalization number two: given the above, I can really screw them up. This I remind myself of regularly. But I have decided that, apart from demonstrating my love for them through in-depth communication, quality (and quantity!) time, and hugs and kisses (for Percy-Kate), the most important thing I can do is to love God and love their mother. If they see me doing that, they will at least know that daddy has his priorities in order. By God's grace, they will turn out OK. Of course, since it is by God's grace, maybe I can be sans souci after all.